Yesterday was my FIRST healthy Christmas celebration in threeee years! It was amazing, except for the whole having to work on Christmas thing.
I had to wake up at 5:30a just to go to work and bathe, feed and get my client ready for the day. Don't get me wrong, I love my job but I would have rather gotten some sleep. I don't know if it's normal but I'm waking up sweaty at night from this Lupron and I've had craaaazy baby dreams lately.
Soooo... Christmas day. My DH and I went to my parents around 11a and opened gifts. We all had an AWESOME gift exchange this year. :)
I got A a bunch of hookah stuff, tubes for his guitar amp, strings, picks, clothes, a sushi maker and a few other things.
I ended up with amazingly soft lounge pants (I wanted some for my time off of work after ER & ET), pajamas, jeans, shirts, shoes, boots, a stand for over our toilet so we can have organization (we have a closet sized bathroom), a hugggeee cabinet for the kitchen so I can FINALLY get our place organized, a wine holder, and some other decor items and clothing.
I really did have the best Christmas I've had in years. :)
I've been a terrible ICLWer so I'm going to have to make up for it tonight!
Hope everyone had an amaziiiing Christmas. <3.
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Monday, December 26, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Thinkin' 'Bout Somethin'
I haven't updated because well, there's not much to update with... for now :)
I'm almost done with my BCPs! Seriously! 4 days (3 if you don't count today) of pills left. I'm doing well with Lupron, it's just making me tired and my boobs STILL hurt really bad.
(I'm documenting all of this in case of have to, for whatever reason, do a second IVF)
I was out on Tuesday with the bff and we saw TWO examples of AWFUL parenting... within an hour!
Incident #1 - We were at dinner and I was sitting in a booth facing a father and his son. They were eating pizza and when the food made it to their table, the little boy reached for a piece and the father backhanded him ACROSS THE FACE. He then proceeded to tell him that he was supposed to wait until the parents got their dinner first. Uh, what the FUCK? I am pretty sure I will always feed my kid (or ANY kid, for that matter) FIRST.
Incident #2 - We were at Hobby Lobby and a girl and her mother were looking at the Christmas ornaments. If you've been to Hobby Lobby, they have a lot of glass/fragile ornaments but they do a decent job (at least in my store) at keeping them at the top of the display. Well, this girl (probably about 8) and her mom were looking at the ornaments and I turned around from where we were standing just in time to see the mother grab a handful of her daughters hair and literally YANK her away from the display. The mother also hit the little girl in the back of the head and called her a "fucking idiot retard" while the little girl stood in the middle of the store screaming and crying her eyes out. Before we walked away (because I wanted to say something) we heard the little girl apologizing.
I wanted to say something to both of those parents but I'm a generally quiet person... and obviously with their anger, they might attempt to harm me for getting in to their situation.
Those are examples of people that shouldn't be allowed to have children --- and here I am, depressed because I'm spending ANOTHER Christmas without a child to show love to.
I just can't wait until those people are old as shit and their kids are left in charge of them. I hope they make them eat shit sandwiches and drink their own pee. :)
Can't wait to update tomorrow with a list of all of the goodies that I got from family & DH!
I'm almost done with my BCPs! Seriously! 4 days (3 if you don't count today) of pills left. I'm doing well with Lupron, it's just making me tired and my boobs STILL hurt really bad.
(I'm documenting all of this in case of have to, for whatever reason, do a second IVF)
I was out on Tuesday with the bff and we saw TWO examples of AWFUL parenting... within an hour!
Incident #1 - We were at dinner and I was sitting in a booth facing a father and his son. They were eating pizza and when the food made it to their table, the little boy reached for a piece and the father backhanded him ACROSS THE FACE. He then proceeded to tell him that he was supposed to wait until the parents got their dinner first. Uh, what the FUCK? I am pretty sure I will always feed my kid (or ANY kid, for that matter) FIRST.
Incident #2 - We were at Hobby Lobby and a girl and her mother were looking at the Christmas ornaments. If you've been to Hobby Lobby, they have a lot of glass/fragile ornaments but they do a decent job (at least in my store) at keeping them at the top of the display. Well, this girl (probably about 8) and her mom were looking at the ornaments and I turned around from where we were standing just in time to see the mother grab a handful of her daughters hair and literally YANK her away from the display. The mother also hit the little girl in the back of the head and called her a "fucking idiot retard" while the little girl stood in the middle of the store screaming and crying her eyes out. Before we walked away (because I wanted to say something) we heard the little girl apologizing.
I wanted to say something to both of those parents but I'm a generally quiet person... and obviously with their anger, they might attempt to harm me for getting in to their situation.
Those are examples of people that shouldn't be allowed to have children --- and here I am, depressed because I'm spending ANOTHER Christmas without a child to show love to.
I just can't wait until those people are old as shit and their kids are left in charge of them. I hope they make them eat shit sandwiches and drink their own pee. :)
Can't wait to update tomorrow with a list of all of the goodies that I got from family & DH!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Winter is Here.
Well, I saw my first flurries of snow on Friday. Yuck.
I. HATE. Winter.
Yes, I said it. I hate the snow.
The first snow is beautiful but I can't stand the thought of driving in the dang snow... especially if A takes the promotion, there's always the risk he won't get to come home or worse, he will wreck.
The doxycycline has been making A and myself nauseous! I actually threw up about 20 minutes after taking it on Friday. The pill bottle says to take 1 hour before breakfast or 3 hours after eating so that's what we did. We told the nurse how we were taking it and she made it VERY clear to ignore those instructions and take WITH food. Definitely made it a little easier but I hate it. Only 3 days left of that mess.
I tried on jeans last night and I started to cry in the JCPenney dressing room. Ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. When I started to take fertility medicines early this year, I was a size 10 -- but I'm tall so I looked normal weight. I won't say what size I am now, but let's just say that I've gained 25lbs and I can't handle the way my body looks anymore. I gained about 4lbs each cycle of Clomid, 3 or 4 lbs each time I look Provera, and then probably about 5lbs of depression weight this whole time. I guess that the IVF meds kind of make you gain a little bit, too, so I am dreading that. The ART nurse told me that I'd probably gain about 5 more pounds.
If my first IVF does not work and I am able to do a FET, I will do one attempt at each and then I'm going to take a few months off to lose this weight. My husband says that it doesn't matter to him how I look, he KNOWS why I am gaining weight. He said yesterday that he knows it's not because of how I eat, since I "eat like a bird" -- that he knows it's because I'm trying to provide us with a baby. That makes me feel a little better but I still feel disgusting.
I was in Kmart a few days ago buying a heating pad and I was having cramps (hence buying the heating pad), and the cashier saw me holding the bottom of my stomach (I was trying to press it to relieve tension from a major cramp) and she goes "Oh gosh! How far along are you?" I was like "excuse me?" and she was like "Well, I saw you holding your stomach, you're pregnant, aren't you?" I wanted to say "NO BITCH, but thanks for telling me I'm fat." But instead, I said "No, actually, I'm having severe cramps from the medicine that I'm taking to BECOME pregnant. I suffer from infertility." The smile left her face quicker than I've ever seen, as if someone just shit on her foot.
I have my tenative IVF calendar for those that were interested! :)
December 6 - CD1
December 8 - Start BCP & Doxycycline
December 14 - End Doxycycline, SHG, and Uterine Sounding
December 21 - Start Lupron
December 28 - Final BCP
December 29 through January 3 - Expected Period
January 5 - Baseline US & E2
January 7 - Start Bravelle and continue Lupron
January 11 - US and E2
January 13 - US and E2
January 16 - US and E2
Somewhere between January 17 and January 20 is the retrieval
They're going for a five day transfer and I should have my first beta 2 weeks after the retrieval day :)
At first, I wasn't planning on requesting off for any of the days during this but I think I am going to tell work tomorrow that I need off January 17-January 24 just to be sure that I resting, relaxed, and not putting stress on myself. Of course, since I've only been at my job for 4 months, it'll be unpaid. Whatev!
I can't believe this is finally happening.
I might be pregnant by the end of January.
Oh, and she said at my age, the success rate WITH a take home baby is HUGE.
I got teary-eyed when she told me that.
I. HATE. Winter.
Yes, I said it. I hate the snow.
The first snow is beautiful but I can't stand the thought of driving in the dang snow... especially if A takes the promotion, there's always the risk he won't get to come home or worse, he will wreck.
The doxycycline has been making A and myself nauseous! I actually threw up about 20 minutes after taking it on Friday. The pill bottle says to take 1 hour before breakfast or 3 hours after eating so that's what we did. We told the nurse how we were taking it and she made it VERY clear to ignore those instructions and take WITH food. Definitely made it a little easier but I hate it. Only 3 days left of that mess.
I tried on jeans last night and I started to cry in the JCPenney dressing room. Ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. When I started to take fertility medicines early this year, I was a size 10 -- but I'm tall so I looked normal weight. I won't say what size I am now, but let's just say that I've gained 25lbs and I can't handle the way my body looks anymore. I gained about 4lbs each cycle of Clomid, 3 or 4 lbs each time I look Provera, and then probably about 5lbs of depression weight this whole time. I guess that the IVF meds kind of make you gain a little bit, too, so I am dreading that. The ART nurse told me that I'd probably gain about 5 more pounds.
If my first IVF does not work and I am able to do a FET, I will do one attempt at each and then I'm going to take a few months off to lose this weight. My husband says that it doesn't matter to him how I look, he KNOWS why I am gaining weight. He said yesterday that he knows it's not because of how I eat, since I "eat like a bird" -- that he knows it's because I'm trying to provide us with a baby. That makes me feel a little better but I still feel disgusting.
I was in Kmart a few days ago buying a heating pad and I was having cramps (hence buying the heating pad), and the cashier saw me holding the bottom of my stomach (I was trying to press it to relieve tension from a major cramp) and she goes "Oh gosh! How far along are you?" I was like "excuse me?" and she was like "Well, I saw you holding your stomach, you're pregnant, aren't you?" I wanted to say "NO BITCH, but thanks for telling me I'm fat." But instead, I said "No, actually, I'm having severe cramps from the medicine that I'm taking to BECOME pregnant. I suffer from infertility." The smile left her face quicker than I've ever seen, as if someone just shit on her foot.
I have my tenative IVF calendar for those that were interested! :)
December 6 - CD1
December 8 - Start BCP & Doxycycline
December 14 - End Doxycycline, SHG, and Uterine Sounding
December 21 - Start Lupron
December 28 - Final BCP
December 29 through January 3 - Expected Period
January 5 - Baseline US & E2
January 7 - Start Bravelle and continue Lupron
January 11 - US and E2
January 13 - US and E2
January 16 - US and E2
Somewhere between January 17 and January 20 is the retrieval
They're going for a five day transfer and I should have my first beta 2 weeks after the retrieval day :)
At first, I wasn't planning on requesting off for any of the days during this but I think I am going to tell work tomorrow that I need off January 17-January 24 just to be sure that I resting, relaxed, and not putting stress on myself. Of course, since I've only been at my job for 4 months, it'll be unpaid. Whatev!
I can't believe this is finally happening.
I might be pregnant by the end of January.
Oh, and she said at my age, the success rate WITH a take home baby is HUGE.
I got teary-eyed when she told me that.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Cycle Day 3!
Also known as..... BIRTH CONTROL PILL #1! The husband and I also start our week of doxycycline today. Those things are horse pills!
I am going to the RE today at 4pm to pick up my IVF calendar...FINALLY!! I've been waiting months to get to this point.
Wednesday, the 14th, I'm going in for my unterine sounding and SHG. As always, if you have experience with any of this, I'm gladly accepting advice on how to get through it. :)
What ellsseee.... Let's see.
OH. A was offered a huge promotion at work... However, the position is 90 miles from our apartment and I am just not willing to move. I know that sounds selfish but I have my reasons. First of all, we live for $200 a month here so if he has to commute we could absolutely afford it. Second, my parents want to be grandparents so bad and neither of them drive the interstate (some scary experience happened years ago that scarred them) so when we have babies, they'd never see them. Third, my parents live next door... That means I will have built in help at all times.
Some of the good things about the possible promotion: he might get to work four days instead of five... which means I'll see him MORE. He can stay with our friends a few nights a week to save on gas, which is super helpful. We have skype for the days that I miss him. Plus, if he takes the position (if it pays well enough) I get to stop working full time!! Hallelujah! My legs are so swollen constantly from being on my feet and I am doing home health. Last week my client fell into her bathtub and pulled me down with her. What happens when I'm pregnant and she doesn't that? Yeah, I don't even want to think about that.
Saturday, A and I are finally making a gingerbread house and a few other Christmas things. All shopping will be finished tomorrow! I'd really like to relax on my days off... Too bad, as a wife, I'm stuck doing wifely things. :P
Wellllll... My hand is killing me from typing this out on my phone. I will update later with my tentative IVF schedule. Eeeee!!!! :)
I am going to the RE today at 4pm to pick up my IVF calendar...FINALLY!! I've been waiting months to get to this point.
Wednesday, the 14th, I'm going in for my unterine sounding and SHG. As always, if you have experience with any of this, I'm gladly accepting advice on how to get through it. :)
What ellsseee.... Let's see.
OH. A was offered a huge promotion at work... However, the position is 90 miles from our apartment and I am just not willing to move. I know that sounds selfish but I have my reasons. First of all, we live for $200 a month here so if he has to commute we could absolutely afford it. Second, my parents want to be grandparents so bad and neither of them drive the interstate (some scary experience happened years ago that scarred them) so when we have babies, they'd never see them. Third, my parents live next door... That means I will have built in help at all times.
Some of the good things about the possible promotion: he might get to work four days instead of five... which means I'll see him MORE. He can stay with our friends a few nights a week to save on gas, which is super helpful. We have skype for the days that I miss him. Plus, if he takes the position (if it pays well enough) I get to stop working full time!! Hallelujah! My legs are so swollen constantly from being on my feet and I am doing home health. Last week my client fell into her bathtub and pulled me down with her. What happens when I'm pregnant and she doesn't that? Yeah, I don't even want to think about that.
Saturday, A and I are finally making a gingerbread house and a few other Christmas things. All shopping will be finished tomorrow! I'd really like to relax on my days off... Too bad, as a wife, I'm stuck doing wifely things. :P
Wellllll... My hand is killing me from typing this out on my phone. I will update later with my tentative IVF schedule. Eeeee!!!! :)
Saturday, December 3, 2011
December To-Do List.
I love Christmas stuff and since I've had a few rough years, we've decided to celebrate large this year. We are kind of non-traditional though... A and I set ourselves a budget to buy things that we want and then we set a budget to buy gifts to surprise each other with. I have most of his surprise shopping done but I have no idea what I want this year. I want new clothes but I've gained 20lbs from all of the fertility meds and I know I'm going to be bloated when I am doing the IVF meds... so I just don't know what I want to do. :(
These are all of the things that I want to do (Christmas and non-Christmas related) in December:
1. Take the horse & carriage ride through our downtown
2. Get all of the Christmas shopping done early
3. Build gingerbread house
4. Make Christmas cookies at least twice
5. Buy Christmas pajamas
6. Put up lights outside of our apartment
7. Finish filling out Christmas cards for my pen pals (Yes, I have a few of those, they're amazing!)
8. See the light show at the Courthouse, the FULL show (we only stayed for 20 minutes of it because it was sooo cold out)
9. Get our apartment in order so I can relax when I'm doing IVF related stuff
10. Clean out the storage room at my parents house and take all of the stuff I don't use to the Salvation Army for less fortunate people
Also, I've read from all of you ladies that have done or are doing IVF about drinking Gatorade? Do you suggest I stock up soon if I'm going to start my stims in a few weeks? When do you actually start drinking it?
I'm a perfectionist and I NEED to have everything planned out so I'd rather know in advance what I need to get together to make this whole thing go as smooth as possible. :)
ALSO! I've been slacking on the commenting since ICLW ended but Sunday = suuuuper slow day at work, so I am planning on making it up to my readers! :) xoxoxoxo.
These are all of the things that I want to do (Christmas and non-Christmas related) in December:
1. Take the horse & carriage ride through our downtown
2. Get all of the Christmas shopping done early
3. Build gingerbread house
4. Make Christmas cookies at least twice
5. Buy Christmas pajamas
6. Put up lights outside of our apartment
7. Finish filling out Christmas cards for my pen pals (Yes, I have a few of those, they're amazing!)
8. See the light show at the Courthouse, the FULL show (we only stayed for 20 minutes of it because it was sooo cold out)
9. Get our apartment in order so I can relax when I'm doing IVF related stuff
10. Clean out the storage room at my parents house and take all of the stuff I don't use to the Salvation Army for less fortunate people
Also, I've read from all of you ladies that have done or are doing IVF about drinking Gatorade? Do you suggest I stock up soon if I'm going to start my stims in a few weeks? When do you actually start drinking it?
I'm a perfectionist and I NEED to have everything planned out so I'd rather know in advance what I need to get together to make this whole thing go as smooth as possible. :)
ALSO! I've been slacking on the commenting since ICLW ended but Sunday = suuuuper slow day at work, so I am planning on making it up to my readers! :) xoxoxoxo.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Christmas Time :)
Last night, A and I went out to dinner! He's in charge of the new hires at his company and the latest group of them decided to buy him a thank you gift... so they bought him a gift card to our favorite place! He had three sushi rolls, 9 assorted pieces of sushi, and a saporo -- I had hot & spicy chicken and a drink called the green monkey. After our gift card, our entire meal only cost us $9! Talk about an amazing date night meal for cheap! :)
After dinner, we did some Christmas shopping... didn't find very much so we came back to our city. A took to me to the courthouse to see the Christmas light show they just started to do. It's crazy that MY small 10,000 population town has something so beautiful going, but they do! I'll post the picture that I took and then a video explaining my hometown. If you take the time to preview it, know that the statues are REALLY creepy, I hate them!
After dinner, we did some Christmas shopping... didn't find very much so we came back to our city. A took to me to the courthouse to see the Christmas light show they just started to do. It's crazy that MY small 10,000 population town has something so beautiful going, but they do! I'll post the picture that I took and then a video explaining my hometown. If you take the time to preview it, know that the statues are REALLY creepy, I hate them!
 |
| Cambridge, Ohio Courthouse :) |
 |
| Hot & Spicy Chicken and Lo Mein |
 |
| Green Monkey... wasn't it pretty!? |
 |
| A's assorted sushi & California roll -- sushi is SO pretty but so gross! |
Today (Friday) was my spa day! Ohhh my gosh. My first professional massage EVER and I think I'm hooked! We did an InfraRed sauna treatment for 35 minutes before (it was FREE!) and then I had a 45 minute massage. I think next, A and I are going to have a couples massage.
Now.... I'm stuck doing laundry. I'm "pre-IVF nesting" -- which really means, I'm trying to haul ass to get our apartment 100% organized before I start taking my stims and stuff because I've read all of your posts about being sore, bloated, tired, etc... yeaahhh, I don't do good with that SO I plan on being lazy and getting all of our stuff done before. Tomorrow, I'm going to come home and finally hang the curtains in our bedroom and kitchen (did I mention we've almost lived here for a year?).
Hope everyone is having a good day.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Christmas Stuff Already?
Man, I went to Walmart yesterday and they had their entire Christmas department set up. I'm seeing Christmas commercials from big companies already.. why do I feel like they're starting these earlier and earlier each year? Jeesh.
This year for Christmas, as long as our IVF medicines don't post an arm and a leg, we are planning on buying a new couch and curtains for our bedroom, kitchen and future nursery (to cover up the ugly blinds that we have). I want to get my husband something for his gifts, we usually set a budget of $100 for each other and then buy one huge gift together. Well, he already got his major gift from me in freaking September. :( A new computer monitor and a video card...$300, not $100. Not that I really care, he works hard. :) All that I want is that couch and maybe some help organizing the house. Last year, he bought me diamond earrings and clothes... But I'm way too uncomfortable with my body this year, damn Clomid!
I cannot believe this time 2009, I was bed bound and recovering from surgery. This time 2010, I was recovering from a hangover. :) We celebrated me being cancer free for DAYS!
I'm hoping since the holidays are approaching, that I can forget my TTC woes and enjoy myself. Knowing me, I'll end up being sad that we aren't sharing it with a new member of the family, or at least preparing for one. Oh well, if my January IVF works, we will have a baby (or babies) just in time for Halloween, Thanksgiving AND Christmas 2012. :)
I need to look on the bright side of things more often, it's nice not stressing/being upset.
I will say this though, the IVF medicine people BETTER call me back before 2pm like they said.
Grrr. :)!
-------------------------------------------
Got my IVF medicine call :) My supplies will be here on Tuesday! :)
This year for Christmas, as long as our IVF medicines don't post an arm and a leg, we are planning on buying a new couch and curtains for our bedroom, kitchen and future nursery (to cover up the ugly blinds that we have). I want to get my husband something for his gifts, we usually set a budget of $100 for each other and then buy one huge gift together. Well, he already got his major gift from me in freaking September. :( A new computer monitor and a video card...$300, not $100. Not that I really care, he works hard. :) All that I want is that couch and maybe some help organizing the house. Last year, he bought me diamond earrings and clothes... But I'm way too uncomfortable with my body this year, damn Clomid!
I cannot believe this time 2009, I was bed bound and recovering from surgery. This time 2010, I was recovering from a hangover. :) We celebrated me being cancer free for DAYS!
I'm hoping since the holidays are approaching, that I can forget my TTC woes and enjoy myself. Knowing me, I'll end up being sad that we aren't sharing it with a new member of the family, or at least preparing for one. Oh well, if my January IVF works, we will have a baby (or babies) just in time for Halloween, Thanksgiving AND Christmas 2012. :)
I need to look on the bright side of things more often, it's nice not stressing/being upset.
I will say this though, the IVF medicine people BETTER call me back before 2pm like they said.
Grrr. :)!
-------------------------------------------
Got my IVF medicine call :) My supplies will be here on Tuesday! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)