Winter is Here.

Well, I saw my first flurries of snow on Friday. Yuck.

I. HATE. Winter.
Yes, I said it. I hate the snow.
The first snow is beautiful but I can't stand the thought of driving in the dang snow... especially if A takes the promotion, there's always the risk he won't get to come home or worse, he will wreck.

The doxycycline has been making A and myself nauseous! I actually threw up about 20 minutes after taking it on Friday. The pill bottle says to take 1 hour before breakfast or 3 hours after eating so that's what we did. We told the nurse how we were taking it and she made it VERY clear to ignore those instructions and take WITH food. Definitely made it a little easier but I hate it. Only 3 days left of that mess.

I tried on jeans last night and I started to cry in the JCPenney dressing room. Ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. When I started to take fertility medicines early this year, I was a size 10 -- but I'm tall so I looked normal weight. I won't say what size I am now, but let's just say that I've gained 25lbs and I can't handle the way my body looks anymore. I gained about 4lbs each cycle of Clomid, 3 or 4 lbs each time I look Provera, and then probably about 5lbs of depression weight this whole time. I guess that the IVF meds kind of make you gain a little bit, too, so I am dreading that. The ART nurse told me that I'd probably gain about 5 more pounds.

If my first IVF does not work and I am able to do a FET, I will do one attempt at each and then I'm going to take a few months off to lose this weight. My husband says that it doesn't matter to him how I look, he KNOWS why I am gaining weight. He said yesterday that he knows it's not because of how I eat, since I "eat like a bird" -- that he knows it's because I'm trying to provide us with a baby. That makes me feel a little better but I still feel disgusting.

I was in Kmart a few days ago buying a heating pad and I was having cramps (hence buying the heating pad), and the cashier saw me holding the bottom of my stomach (I was trying to press it to relieve tension from a major cramp) and she goes "Oh gosh! How far along are you?" I was like "excuse me?" and she was like "Well, I saw you holding your stomach, you're pregnant, aren't you?" I wanted to say "NO BITCH, but thanks for telling me I'm fat." But instead, I said "No, actually, I'm having severe cramps from the medicine that I'm taking to BECOME pregnant. I suffer from infertility." The smile left her face quicker than I've ever seen, as if someone just shit on her foot.

I have my tenative IVF calendar for those that were interested! :)

December 6 - CD1
December 8 - Start BCP & Doxycycline
December 14 - End Doxycycline, SHG, and Uterine Sounding
December 21 - Start Lupron
December 28 - Final BCP
December 29 through January 3 - Expected Period
January 5 - Baseline US & E2
January 7 - Start Bravelle and continue Lupron
January 11 - US and E2
January 13 - US and E2
January 16 - US and E2
Somewhere between January 17 and January 20 is the retrieval

They're going for a five day transfer and I should have my first beta 2 weeks after the retrieval day :)

At first, I wasn't planning on requesting off for any of the days during this but I think I am going to tell work tomorrow that I need off January 17-January 24 just to be sure that I resting, relaxed, and not putting stress on myself. Of course, since I've only been at my job for 4 months, it'll be unpaid. Whatev!

I can't believe this is finally happening.




I might be pregnant by the end of January.



Oh, and she said at my age, the success rate WITH a take home baby is HUGE.
I got teary-eyed when she told me that.