I'm Jealous.

Honestly.

I was watching One Born Every Minute on Lifetime (because it is recorded at a hospital 90 miles from me) and reality set in.

I won't have a natural pregnancy.
My husband and I won't have the joy of knowing we were able to create a child alone.

I haven't even started the IVF process, other than Provera to induce AF, and I fucking hate it already.

I'm blessed we get 3 absolutely free IVF attempts but I never wanted to be at this point.

I'm 24. I've already had cancer but now infertility? If they would've told me I might have fertility issues after chemotherapy, I probably would've skipped chemo. Seriously.

I'm angry. Jealous. Bitter. Resentful. -- at all fertile women.

Who knew all of these feelings would come out all because I watched a tv show....