I started on my IF journey with doctor assistance and medicines last July. There is a girl in my town that had a miscarriage around this time so we really connected on the level of IF/needing emotional support. All was well, we were going through Clomid cycles together and having someone in real life to vent to is wonderful. I moved on to IVF and she went on to Femara so we were on different paths.
Well, here's what is bothering me:
She is having her IUI tomorrow. My FET is Friday.
All I can think about is what if her IUI takes and my FET fails? How am I going to pretend to be happy for her? What if my FET takes and her IUI fails? I know she will be in the same situation that I am afraid of being in. What if both if our cycles take? We will have a due date of a mere few days apart, so I'll have the pregnancy buddy I've always wanted.
I am preparing for the worst and praying for the best.
Does anyone know the success rates of FETs, actually I'm transferring a few great quality blastocysts so I'm not sure if that makes a difference...?
Anyway. We got the disc of our anniversary photos back so I'll share a few more, if you don't mind!
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| A heart <3 |
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| 5 short years together :) |
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| Love the reflection! |
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| Scars = strength |
I love your photos, your photographer did a great job. In regards to your worries about the cycles between you and your friend. Either that is a completely normal feeling to have or I am evil also because I have been right there and had the same fears and concerns.
ReplyDeleteI know every clinic is different on success rates for FET. At my clinic they were almost as high as a fresh cycle. I think you have a real shot at this!
I TOTALLY understand! We meet so many people during this process, but eventually, we are left behind by someone at sometime. There is a girl on a board who got a BFP the same day as me. But mine was chemical. She would email me from time to time to see how I was doing and to offer support, but I've had to avoid most of her posts. Because she is as far along as I would have been.
ReplyDeleteLet's just have it work for both of you, k?
Ugh, tough situation. I think you will both know what the other is feeling if one is preggers and the other is not, so no need to pretend to be overly excited when you're dying inside, or vice versa. Neither should expect much from the one who isn't pregnant because they would know how they are feeling. You'll both naturally be sensitive to each others feelings, so try not to stress about it, and it's not a competition remember ;-) Good luck, hoping you're both preggers and it's a moot point!!!
ReplyDeletewhat beautiful pics!! :) I honestly don't know what the success rates are...but the few people I've known (IRL) who've done FET's have all gotten pregnant!
ReplyDeleteI can see though what a tough situation that would be. :(
I do wish you luck though with your FET!!!
LOVE the pictures!
ReplyDeleteAnd about the other stuff... it's hard to say how things will go down with you and your friend. My best friend and I did clomid at the same time, I got pregnant, she didn't. With clomid it was a little different because she went on to do more cycles and it was only after several failed cycles that she dealt with the emotions of me being pregnant. No matter how it works out, once everyone has had time to deal with the emotions of their own outcomes, just try your best to be there for each other.
Your friend might be thinking the same thing as you! Hope it works out for both of you.
ReplyDeleteI think that's incredibly normal to feel that way! I did 7 rounds of Clomid, 3 with IUI and I had a fellow infertile friend who had done 5 rounds of Clomid, 1 Femara, 1 injectables, and no IUIs. She didn't talk to me about my IUIs for fear of me getting pregnant before her. I understood, but it was hard! After our 1st IUI failed she decided she wanted to do one too even though she thought they were "pointless". It wasn't until after my 3rd failed one that she was able to do it because her ovaries had cysts. Her 1st IUI with injectables BAM pregnant. Now I've done 2 Femara cycles since then and am about to start our 1 and only Follistim IUI cycle that probably won't yield the same results as her... I know we'll do IVF, I just have a feeling nothing short of that will work. It's hard to compare and think "Well such 'minimal' intervention got her pregnant, it's not fair." But know she's feeling the same way and it's normal!
ReplyDeleteYou are totally pardoned. And, I love your photos! They really turned out beautifully.
ReplyDeleteWishing you lots and lots of the very best luck for tomorrow!
It is such a difficult situation. I think a lot of us think the same way. Hoping and praying it works for both of you!
ReplyDeleteI love the pics! They came out so good!
No judgment here!! It's hard either way. You manage because you care about each other, but it's hard. What "managing" looks like looks different for each individual, each friendship, and each situation, though. You and she will have to work out your own "managing" based on what happens.
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