Gimme Some Lovin'

Still missing my period. And by missing.....I mean MISSING. First time in my whole left that I've actually welcomed bleeding for 4 days. Ugh. It looks like I won't be doing anything IVF related until middle of November now. The scary thing is, 2012 brings fertility medicine prescription caps, something totally new for our insurance. Frustrating, too. I'm working with no limit on anything right now and to have a cap is like having to be home by curfew.

Tuesday is my one year of being cancer free. I can't believe I've been off of chemotherapy for ONE entire year. They officially removed all of the cancer in October 2009, but I had to go through chemo and many scans to make sure, a year later, I was actually in remission. I also had a scan in May of this year and still clean!! :) On the bright side of things, I'm cancer free.. too bad having cancer and chemotherapy is probably what caused my 24 year old body to go crazy. I don't WANT to do IVF, not at all. I'm tired of never getting the much needed break that I deserve but here I am, getting shitty answers that I feel like I deserve to hear. I mean. I guess I don't deserve anything but I feel like I'm at my wits end with getting crappy answers. :(

I've been considering seeing a counselor over this because I do cry more than I should. I'm terrified of two things: cancer & never being called mommy. Both of which are VERY possible. The worst part is having friends who can get pregnant so easily, have multiple kids and even accidental pregnancies.

On a brighter note: I am taking a semi-sporadic trip to Cincinnati tonight to see some friends in a band. They're called Mayday Parade and I'm sure whoever reading this has probably never heard of them. It's going to be a girls night, just myself and a friend. We are also seeing the band in Columbus on Tuesday. I can't wait to celebrate my life. Alcohol + music + good friends = perfect night. I might update later, not that anyone is reading.